I used to drive and drive and drive and see where the road took me. I used to go and listen to jazz – even though I knew nothing about jazz – and drink and read a book. I used to karaoke. I used to befriend strangers when we’d end up in the same Panera or the same dive-joint again and again. I’d talk to gas station clerks and truck drivers at truck stops.
I used to have adventures and I used to love my work and my work used to love me. And overtime… that…changed.
And I’d settle, and I’d settle, and I’d settle for frozen pizza and I’d settle for Netflix and I’d settle a little more.
And I didn’t like my work even though I loved it.
And my work didn’t like me even though I loved it and it loved me.
And I didn’t love myself for not liking the work that I loved.
And I didn’t like myself for not loving myself.
You see, all this in the background is not a great thing or a great place to be in. And even getting better takes a long time. My world is changing not back to what it was but is changing into something new. I don’t want to be the Chad I used to be – 2008 or 2009 Chad.
(Though that guy was awesome.)
I want to be someone and something I haven’t been before.
Life moves forward, not backwards.