The Fault In Our Tacos

I made a list 4 months ago and I decided to flesh this out.

The Fault In Our Tacos
Two competing taco trucks form a bond that can’t be broken.

The Fault In Our Prom Dates
Two strangers bond while their prom dates throw up in the bathroom.

The Fault In Our Parents
Two kids bond in the waiting room while their parents are in couples therapy.

The Fault In Our Employability
Two unemployed 20-somethings fall in love after constantly seeing each other at job fairs and interviews.

The Fault In Our Netflix Queue
Two strangers meet in a Panera and fall in love by criticizing the other’s Netflix queue.

The Fault In Our Texts
2 hours of phone screen shots, electronic beeps, and glowy faces.

The Fault In Our Friends
Two people fall in love while constantly bitching about their non-mutual friends.

The Fault In Our Just Friends
2 hours of two people in love (and in denial) constantly telling mutual friends that they are, in fact, “just friends”.

The Fault In Our Friendzones
Can love overcome a triangle of zones and barriers and the debate on whether or not such zones and barriers exist? No.

The Fault In Our Making Out
1 and a half hours of making out and 30 minutes of guilt/shame/disgust/regret. There’s also 4 sequels.

The Fault In Our Orthodontia
Two teens fall in love while waiting to get their braces and bands adjusted over the course of 6 months. Naturally they sabotage their own braces to extend the courting.

The Fault In Our Ground Fault
The classic guy-meets-girl-who-is-an-electrician-story.

The Fault In Our Pole Vault
All Canadians want to be pole vaulters.

The Fault In Our Defaults
Two hours of 2 people not meeting because they never change or deviate from their schedule enough to cross paths.

The Fault In Our FEELS
Two hours of ANGST and talking about ANGST and talking about our talking about of feelings of ANGST.

The Fault In Our Last Words
Two hours of someone trying to figure out the last words they want to say to their lying, cheating, former-significant other.

The Fault In Our SARS
The love story between two World Health Organization doctors as they themselves start dying.

The Fault In Our Plan
The classic story of boy meets girl and boy spends way too much time planning his next move. Girl dates someone she meets over the summer.

The Fault In Our Intentions
Two hours of hilariously unintentional misunderstandings. Like ‘Three’s Company’, only with teenage angst.

The Fault In Our Forever
Two hours of teenagers talking about forever while having the attention span of 3 seconds.

The Fault In Our Meme
Because high school.

The Fault In Our Chemistry
Two chemists meet and fall in love because of something to do with whiteboards and hexagon drawings. It’s science.

The Fault In Our Because 
Two teenagers fall in love even though they only answer questions by saying ‘because’.

The Fault In Our Privilege
The tragic story of a rich white suburban kid not being able to take the Mercedes to prom and his girlfriend not being able to afford that 2,500 dollar dress.

The Fault In Our Narcissism
Two hours of wardrobe changes and carefully sculpted Instagram pictures.

The Fault In Our Hotness
Two people who are literally too sexy for each other.

The Fault In Our Adorableness
Two people are so ridiculously adorable they cause everyone to spontaneously vomit. This ruins prom.

The Fault In Our Awkwardness
Two people so awkward that they can only possibly ever belong together because everyone else avoids them.

The Fault In Our Formulary
Pharmacy love!

The Fault In Our Strategery
Love In The Time Of Bush

The Fault In Our Seatbelts
Something about a teenager and a car crash. And survivor guilt.

The Fault In Our Phones
Missing the most important text of your life because your text inbox is full of all the other most important texts of your life.

The Fault In Our Window
Timing is hard!

The Fault In Our Side Hugs
Two people in love but only give side-hugs. The climax of the movie is actually a regular hug.

The Fault In Our Clinique Happy
The fragrance follows a young man around for years until he admits that he actually likes it.

The Fault In Our Star Trek
Two lovers have a split over whether or not JJ’s Star Trek is actually Star Trek or not.

The Fault In Our Star Wars
Two lovers have a split over whether or not they should even acknowledge Episode 1-3.

The Fault In Our Starbucks
Two people keep missing each other because they keep going to the wrong Starbucks.

The Fault In Our Pilot Season
Two struggling actors meet and fall in love during the time their pilots are shot, picked up, and then cancelled after the first 3 weeks.

The Fault In Our Standup
A first date at comedy club goes terribly wrong when one person laughs at all the wrong jokes.

The Fault In Our Wingman
2 hours of bros.

The Fault In Our DTR
Fork in the brain. Fork in the brain. Fork in the brain.

The Fault In Our Hygiene
Two people with terrible hygiene fall in love…until one of them showers and throws the relationship off balance!

The Fault In Our Straws
A college kid leaves a straw at a door and causes a girl to cry.

The Fault In Our Cusack
High Fidelity or Say Anything? The Sure Thing or Grosse Point Black? SO HARD TO PICK.

The Fault In Our No-Fault Accidents
Two insurance adjusters fall in love while sticking it to their clients.

The Fault In Our Parking Enforcement
Two parking enforcement officers fall in love for the same rebellious scofflaw.

The Fault In Our Away Messages
The last two people on Earth using AIM decide to just call each other on the phone.

The Fault In Our Time Machines
A man and a woman both secretly make a time machine to go back and make sure they don’t break up.
They end up destroying the space time continuum.

`Chad

2000’s Movie List

I’ve seen way too many movies.

 

Almost Famous (2000)
Bounce (2000)
Calling Bobcat (2000)
Cast Away (2000)
Finding Forrester (2000)
Gladiator (2000)
High Fidelity (2000)
Il Mare – South Korea (2000)
The Family Man (2000)

Amélie (2001)
Black Hawk Down (2001)
Enemy at the Gates (2001)
Kate & Leopold (2001)
Moulin Rouge! (2001)
My Sassy Girl – South Korea (2001)
Ocean’s Eleven (2001)
Serendipity (2001)

Global Heresy / Rock My World – US Title (2002)
Interstate 60: Episodes of The Road (2002)
Orange County (2002)
Over the Rainbow – South Korea (2002)
Road To Perdition (2002)
The Bourne Identity (2002)
The Count of Monte Cristo (2002)
The First $20 Million Is Always the Hardest (2002)

American Splendor (2003)
How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days (2003)
Lost In Translation (2003)
Matchstick Men (2003)
School Of Rock (2003)
Secondhand Lions (2003)
The Italian Job (2003)

13 Going On 30 (2004)
50 First Dates (2004)
Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (2004)
Finding Neverland (2004)
Hidalgo (2004)
Jersey Girl (2004)
Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004)
Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
Ray (2004)
Spanglish (2004)
The Aviator (2004)
The Butterfly Effect (2004)
The Girl Next Door (2004)
The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (2004)
The Prince And Me (2004)
The Terminal (2004)
The Village (2004)
Walking Tall (2004)

A Lot Like Love (2005)
Cinderella Man (2005)
Elizabethtown (2005)
Four Brothers (2005)
Just Friends (2005)
Kingdom Of Heaven – Directors/Extended Cut (2005)
Serenity (2005)
The Ice Harvest (2005)
The Legend Of Zorro (2005)
The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy (2005)
The Weather Man (2005)

A Good Year (2006)
Accepted (2006)
Casino Royale – James Bond (2006)
Clerks II (2006)
Madea’s Family Reunion (2006)
Little Miss Sunshine (2006)
Pan’s Labyrinth (2006)
Rocky Balboa (2006)

Catch And Release (2007)
Dan In Real Life (2007)
Disturbia (2007)
Enchanted (2007)
Grindhouse (2007) – Planet Terror, Death Proof*
In The Land of Women (2007)
Knocked Up (2007)
Martian Child (2007)
Michael Clayton (2007)
Shooter (2007)
Superbad (2007)
The Astronaut Famer (2007)

Be Kind Rewind (2008)
Charlie Bartlett (2008)
Definitely, Maybe (2008)
Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)
Frost/Nixon (2008)
Gigantic (2008)
How To Lose Friends & Alienate People (2008)
Juno (2008)
Marley And Me (2008)
Nick And Norah’s Infinite Playlist (2008)
Rambo (2008)
Smart People (2008)
The Rocker (2008)
The Strangers (2008)

500 Days Of Summer (2009)
Adam (2009)
Adventureland (2009)
Dear Lemon Lima (2009)
District 9 (2009)
Everybody’s Fine (2009)
Fanboys (2009)
Funny People (2009)
Gran Torino (2009)
I Love You, Man (2009)
In The Electric Mist (2009)
My Sister’s Keeper (2009)
Paper Heart (2009)
Shrink (2009)
Sunshine Cleaning (2009)
Taken (2009)
The Last House On The Left (2009)
The Loved Ones (2009)
The Pruitt-Igoe Myth (2009)
The Wrestler (2009)
Up In The Air (2009)
Whip It (2009)
Zombieland (2009)

Blue Valentine (2010)
Buried (2010)
Catfish (2010)
Crazy Heart (2010)
Easy A (2010)
Flipped (2010)
Get Low (2010)
HappyThankYouMorePlease (2010)
Hot Tub Time Machine (2010)
Kick Ass (2010)
Let Me In (2010)
She’s Out Of My League (2010)
Super (2010)
The Switch (2010)
True Grit (2010)
Trust (2010)
Winter’s Bone (2010)

50/50 (2011)
Cowboys And Aliens (2011)
Hanna (2011)
Medea’s Big Happy Family (2011)
Myth Of The American Sleepover (2011)
Red State (2011)
Super 8 (2011)
Texas Killing Fields (2011)
The Artist (2011)
The Conspirator (2011)
The Descendants (2011)
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (US) (2011)
The Help (2011)
The Muppets (2010)
We Bought A Zoo (2011)

Argo (2012)
Celeste and Jesse Forever (2012)
Flight (2012)
Hitchcock (2012)
House At The End Of The Street (2012)
Moonrise Kingdom (2012)
Project X (2012)
Robot & Frank (2012)
Ruby Sparks (2012)
Safety Not Guaranteed (2012)
Silver Linings Playbook (2012)
Sleepwalk With Me (2012)
Ted (2012)
The First Time (2012)
The Five Year Engagement (2012)
The Grey (2012)
The Perks Of Being A Wallflower (2012)
This Is 40 (2012)
Trouble With The Curve (2012)
Young Adult (2012)

32 Hours 7 Minutes (2013)
Admission (2013)
American Hustle (2013)
Captain Phillips (2013)
Enough Said (2013)
Girl Most Likely (2013)
Gravity (2013)
Grudge Match (2013)
Kick-Ass 2 (2013)
Lone Survivor (2013)
Saving Mr. Banks (2013)
Stuck in Love (2013)
The Book Thief (2013)
The Conjuring (2013)
The Lifeguard (2013)
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013)
The Spectacular Now (2013)
The Wolf Of Wall Street (2013)
The Way Way Back (2013)
This Is The End (2013)
Warm Bodies (2013)
You’re Next (2013)

August: Osage County (2014)
Begin Again (2014)
Chef (2014)
Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
Her (2014)
Muppets Most Wanted (2014)
Neighbors (2014)
Oculus (2014)
St. Vincent (2014)
The Equalizer (2014)
The Fault In Our Stars (2014)
Tammy (2014)
The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)
The Judge (2014)
The LEGO Movie (2014)
The Monuments Men (2014)
This Is Where I Leave You (2014)

`Chad

Talking To Strangers And Jazz

I used to drive and drive and drive and see where the road took me. I used to go and listen to jazz – even though I knew nothing about jazz – and drink and read a book. I used to karaoke. I used to befriend strangers when we’d end up in the same Panera or the same dive-joint again and again. I’d talk to gas station clerks and truck drivers at truck stops.

I used to have adventures and I used to love my work and my work used to love me. And overtime… that…changed.

And I’d settle, and I’d settle, and I’d settle for frozen pizza and I’d settle for Netflix and I’d settle a little more.

And I didn’t like my work even though I loved it.
And my work didn’t like me even though I loved it and it loved me.
And I didn’t love myself for not liking the work that I loved.
And I didn’t like myself for not loving myself.

You see, all this in the background is not a great thing or a great place to be in. And even getting better takes a long time. My world is changing not back to what it was but is changing into something new. I don’t want to be the Chad I used to be – 2008 or 2009 Chad.
(Though that guy was awesome.)

I want to be someone and something I haven’t been before.

Life moves forward, not backwards.

old fortunes