Tag Archives: Friendship

A Guy Named C.H.A.D.

From The Goodbye Party –


A Guy Named Chad


I want to tell you a story about A Guy Named Chad.

My first year on staff This Guy Named Chad came into the Champaign Chapter.

I was assigned to work with A Guy Named Chad a few times.

One of those times was at the Urbana conference. We had a student leadership track and Chad was in my track there. I think my impression of Chad then was he was a good guy, missional student, going to make an impact on the Champaign chapter. But I did not get a sense then of the passion and commitment to communication and in particular with large groups that A Guy Named Chad had.

My next episode of Chad was at the Metamorphosis conference, which most of you know as Fall Conference now. Chad was working with his events team and talking about what should happen at large group and Chad just gets…enraged. He was so mad! He was so upset because the large group team was not understanding a vision he had. It was a missional thing, it was something he wanted to be done and done well and the other people just weren’t on board.

So I ran into Chad pacing outside the room and I’m look “oooh, what’s going on there?”

So I ask Chad “Chad, what’s happening?”

And Chad proceeds to be this far away from me (about 18 inches) yelling about what’s happening. “Well this is going on and this is not happening and..!”

And I’m like “Whoa!”

But luckily I don’t mind a good fight. So I stepped in. So that was the beginning of the bond between Chad and I. And it was the beginning of understanding how passionate Chad is about the things he cares about and how invested he is. His ability to work with others has increased quite a bit – and his ability to hold the rage in and process it differently has changed. But that passion is still true.

And so that’s my favorite memory of Chad, him sort of letting loose in that argument created a bond.

So in honor of Chad I’ve created a little creative communication myself. Hopefully it will be a memorable one. It’s an acrostic to help us remember things about Chad.


First of all…C
Chad is Creative in Communications.

So, I told you of his passion for large groups. At one point while he was a student Chad actually dressed up as a wrestler and was so committed to that theme that he wrestled at large group.

Chad goes on adventures and takes lots of pictures.
Chad has and maintains a website.

I remember one particularly creative communication he made about how all romantic comedies are basically one, making a concept map between romantic comedies.

And I just have to tell you – I’ve known Chad to be interested in a few different ladies over the years, and seen his creative communications in dating. Chad is quite a pro of thinking of creative ways to care or invest. One particular time, a certain girl he was interested in, had some sort of problem with the plumbing at her house she was renting, and Chad actually – wait! This isn’t creative communication!

But that leads into my next one…

Hart’s Got heart.

Chad is quite the romantic. So Chad waited at this house until the technician came and did the work and everything went okay. In another incident he purchased a pizza without any cheese or other things that this person was allergic to so that this person could enjoy Papa Del’s pizza, too.

He’s also – I suppose romantically, too – but he’s also so loyal. Once Chad is on your side and Chad is your friend he is your friend forever. He’s totally committed that things go well for you and that you stay connected.

And Chad cares very well for students. This student David became a Christian in the ministry and Chad discipled over the years. It’s just one example of a relationship Chad invested in and expressed deep empathy and compassion. It’s not always readily on the surface but it’s there and students that get to know Chad can feel it and know that Chad is on their side.

Chad Hart is A True Individual.

What ways don’t we know this?

First of all the affinity for Guns N’ Roses. Other people have that, too, but he’s held it for a long time. People make Christmas cards and birthday cards, but what does Chad do? He makes New Years Cards for people. Also who socializes, but Chad, by bringing his computer to a table and doing other creative communications late at night at retreats while people play games around him? An individual. And who shows their emotional agreement at a talk or something else by grunting?

That is Chad. A True Individual.

And finally…

Chad Hart is Dedicated To A Quality Product.

I remember Chad when he was a student leader being at The Loft all night editing video for large group and wanting to see these things turn out perfectly.

I remember Chad putting into a ton of work into something we still use, which is our Chapter Events Team Manual. He wanted everyone else to learn how to do the structure and use it well. Brittany says thanks and Sam would, too, if he were here. All the people following Chad have picked that up and learned how to do it because of Chad’s work on this quality product.

He really has a huge commitment to doing things well and doing whatever he’s doing all in.

All which we appreciate and Guns N’ Roses appreciates… and we’re so grateful for A Guy Named Chad.



Thanks, Katie. I appreciate it.


Friendship And Film

I love movies. I always have. When I was four years old I would watch and re-watch movies over and over. I could operate the VCR before I could read. A piece of tape marked the “play” button.

What movies would I watch over and over and over again? ET. Ghostbusters. Wizard Of Oz. Star Trek II. Goonies. Karate Kid I, II, III. Back To The Future I, II, III. What are these movies about? Friendship, really. Strong friendships. That’s what drew me to them. That’s what kept me coming back for more. That’s what kept me hitting rewind. (Remember ‘rewind’?) Sure, the spaceships, aliens, ghosts, gadgets, crazy-things, adventures, and special effects were neat, but the friendships kept me watching.

I wanted these friendships for myself. I wanted ET as my friend. I wanted Doc Brown as my friend. I wanted Spock as my friend. I wanted to have Mr. Miyagi as my friend. Or someone like them.

These were movies with small groups of protagonists or even just pairings. This worked great because I was an introvert. Why look for more friends? Who needs a crowd? You can’t fit 3 people into a Delorean, anyway.

Captain Kirk and Captain Spock, as far as I was concerned, were the archetype for what friendship could and should be between two men.

TWOK - Viacom/Paramount/CBS

Spock: Ship, out of danger?
Kirk: Yes.
Spock: Don’t grieve, Admiral, it is logical. The needs of many outweigh…
(voice breaking)
Kirk: …the needs of the few.
Spock: Or the one.
Spock: I never took the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?
(Spock almost-smiles, pleased with his almost-joke rhetorical question.)
Kirk: Spock…
(Kirk is surprised at his dying friend’s joke)
Spock: I have been, and always shall be, your friend.
Spock: Live long and prosper.

But of course Jim Kirk does find a way to cheat death, if only at a price, in the next movie.

Ambassador Sarek: Kirk, I thank you. What you have done is…
Kirk: What I have done, I had to do.
Ambassador Sarek: But at what cost? Your ship. Your son.
Kirk: If I hadn’t tried, the cost would have been my soul.

Later, Spock tries to understand why Kirk would come back for him.

TSFS - Viacom/Paramount/CBS

Spock: My father says that you have been my friend. You came back for me.
Kirk: You would have done the same for me.
(Spock is confused.)
Spock: Why would you do this?
Kirk: Because the needs of the one outweigh the needs of the many.
(Spock is slowly remembering Kirk, as if coming back from a far off place or waking from a dream)
Spock: “I have been and ever shall be your friend.”
Spock: “Ship, out of danger?”
Kirk: You saved the ship! You saved us all! Don’t you remember?
Spock: “Jim”. Your name is Jim.
Kirk: Yes.

In college I learned that Kirk and Spock “slash” fiction was a thing. Apparently it was easy (and popular) to see and read homoerotic subtext between the two characters. This was a surprise to me.

Post-college my best friend would be called my “Hetero-Life-Partner” /”Hetero-Life-Mate” / “Hetero-Man-Friend”.

There’s a funny story about that and it was also a surprise to me.
But that’s for another time.