Bad Lyrics

Song parody lyrics I wrote for some reason!

 

 

This first one was actually a joke a friend and I came up with because it was funny that all these pop-punk bands always seemed to be singing about things that happened in Junior High, even though they were 30 and had tattoos everywhere. For some reason these bands were always “The” something, so of course they had to be a “The” band!

 The Methods – Kiss You

Should have kissed you!
but now I miss you
and I don’t know — why—
I didn’t kiss you in Junior High

Should have kissed you in Junior High
then all this time would not go by
so far away
and –all— alone.

Should have kissed you
but now I miss you
and I don’t know
–why—
I didn’t kiss you in Junior High

 

 

 

I once had a over-the-counter crush on a then-unnamed woman who frequently worked at a campus town restaurant I loved. This happens to people, right? Sung (more or less) to the tune of “Punk Rock Girl“.

Zorba’s Girl

One sunny day I took a walk
on the Green Street strip
I met a girl there
and she kept me well fed

Zorba’s Girl!
Please look at me
Zorba’s Girl!
What do you see?

Let’s go see a film
just you and me
Zorba’s Girl!

I looked across the counter
and ordered a gyro combo
she looked at me and smiled
and said sit until you’re called

Zorba’s Girl!
Give me a chance
Zorba’s Girl!
I love romance
Let’s just give it a whirl
Just you and me Zorba’s Girl

I went to Za’s Italian Cafe
and just wanted some garlic bread
the manager says “well, no, we don’t sell it alone”
so I walked out the door
and kept walking town the street
and someone wrote on the sidewalk
with some sidewalk chalk
and I started screaming
because it was Groovy Tuesday

She works a lot of shifts
she’s there for like every meal
and Her father must own the place
I think that’s the deal

Zorba’s Girl!
I’m a geek
Zorba’s Girl!
You’re not greek at all –
just like onion rings and fries
Yeah you’re for me Zorba’s Girl

I bought a t-shirt there
that said “I put it on a pita”
because it’s just good
to locally shop
and people stop and ask if I worked there
I said no
but if you ever eat at Pita Pit
your taste buds could use some fixin’

She dyed her hair blue one day
And away my heart went racing
I said “Hey what’s new with you?”
She said “nothing man, life’s just crazy”

Zorba’s Girl!
You look so wild.
Zorba’s Girl!
Food service child.
let’s go raise a quad squirrel.
Just you and me –
I’ll tell it to the world –
just you and me
Zorba’s Girl.

 

 

 

This next one is sung to the tune of “Rainbow Connection“. Someone posted something about there not being enough songs about elbows. I considered this a challenge and I accepted. I think this would be rather fun to have someone actually make. I think it could be a great fit!

The Elbow Connection

Why aren’t there any
songs about elbows
this been blowing my mind

Elbows are hinges
your body’s own widgets
elbows help you wave goodbye

When we get old
they get weird and wrinkly
if you think I’m wrong wait and see

Someday you’ll find it
the elbow connection
the pipes and the macaroni and cheese

They get cut and hurt when we fall
they bleed and it’s very tragic

Have you fixed a sink
And have you made pasta
They all have the same name, you see

But is this the same thing
for arm, cook, and plumber?
They all point one way and change

Imagine a world if your arm couldn’t pivot
what kind of world would that be?

Someday you’ll find it
the elbow connection
the pipes and the macaroni and cheese

 

 
This is to the tune of Summer Of ’69, that Bryan Adams song that’s a little bit nostalgic and a little bit ridiculous. So this is maybe what Bryan would have wrote about if he was in college in the 2000’s. Maybe. It’s supposed to be a little ridiculous. Or a lot bit ridiculous. This actually happened as I was listening to the song while driving on the road.

Semester Of Spring Oh-Five

I got myself on The Facebook
Did it down in the computer lab
Browsed it till my fingers bled
Was the semester of Spring Oh-Five

Me and some guys from the floor
On Friday nights made our arteries hard
Went to IHOP, tried out the Perkins
that Denny’s was too damn far

When I look back now
The semester seemed to last forever
And if I had the choice
Yeah, I’d always wanna be there
Those were the best days of my life

Ain’t no use in complaining
When class is all you got to do
Spent my time dozing off near the front row
And that’s where I met you, yeah!

Standing in the Fat Don’s line
I told you that it takes forever!
Oh and when you laughed out loud
I knew that it was now or never
Those were the best days of my life

Oh yeah!
Back in the semester of Spring Oh-Five

Man, we were killing time
We were young and sleepless
With a relationship to define
I guess nothing can last forever,
Forever!

And now the Relationship Status is changin’
Look at the Friends who come and gone
Sometimes when I scroll that ol’ Facebook
Think about you
Wonder what went wrong

Standing in the Fat Don’s line
I told you that it takes forever!
Oh and when you laughed out loud
I knew that it was now or never
Those were the best days of my life

Oh yeah! Back in the semester of Spring Oh-Five
It was the semester of Spring Oh-Five.

 

 

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